The anniversary of the Parkland shooting and loss of life at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School can be both painful and deeply triggering for those whose lives have been touched by gun violence directly or indirectly. Beyond that, a shared trauma of this magnitude can activate feelings of grief and anxiety in just about anyone.
Some typical signs of grief and trauma are:
- Low-mood/feelings of numbness or sadness
- Fatigue/low-energy
- Difficulty focusing, remembering things, and/or completing tasks
- Restlessness, difficulty calming down, and/or struggling to sit still
- Increased Anxiety
- Increased irritability or lower frustration tolerance
- Increased sensitivity to sensory input (ie strong smells, loud noises, crowded spaces, etc)
- Hard time falling or staying asleep
For kids, all this and:
- Increased clinginess or separation anxiety
- Regressive behaviors like potty accidents after having been toilet trained, suddenly needing to have the light on at bedtime, or needing help to do things they used to be able to do by themselves
Remember that, no matter what, the first step to helping a person experiencing the effects of trauma or grief is to make sure they know they’re safe.
Some strategies to establish safety are:
- Be consistent with both your tone of voice (lower/slower) and response (clear/concise/predictable/easy-to-understand)
- Move closer to them/get down on their level when you need their attention
- Use their name in a kind, calm, positive way
- Set up a space for them to use if they start to get overwhelmed by their emotions
- Avoid behavioral strategies like taking away a privilege or reward or dropping them on a color chart—opt instead for choices (ie “You can sit by me while you work or go take some time in the calm corner, which would you prefer?”)
- Catch and celebrate progress and/or helpful behaviors when they happen
- Replace “Why did you do that?!” with “How are you feeling? What can we do to help you get back into your thinking brain?”
- Treat the person how you’d want to be treated if you’d just experienced a loss or had gone through an experience where you felt helpless and in danger: with kindness, generosity, compassion, clarity, forgiveness, hope, and patience.
Here are some additional resources if you or someone you know is experiencing any of the symptoms above, need help starting the conversation, or are just in need of some extra support:
15 Tips for Talking with Children About School Violence (Lots of additional resources and a variety of language options)
Parenting a Child Who Has Experienced Trauma
NASP (Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Parents and Teachers)
Recovery From Large-Scale Crises: Guidelines for Crisis Teams and Administrators
To learn more about Telement, visit our mental health resource page.
